Saving Grace by Grace Kitto

Author:Grace Kitto
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: September Publishing

Sobering fact #15: In the UK, we spend over £11 billion a year on care of Type 2 diabetes and its complications.

LSE Health, 2012

CHAPTER 16

My imaginary friend disappears

13st 9lb

Friday, 27 April 2012

I toil up the hillside again. I soon find myself at Bridget’s cave and there are a few smouldering remains of her fire, but no sign of her. I root around for a bit, hoping she’ll turn up, but then the sound of branches cracking in the distance tells me where she is – doing a bit of tree work, from the sounds of it.

Immediately I realise that I shouldn’t follow her into the woods. She doesn’t want me to. It would be overdramatic to say that she’s avoiding me, but there’s a definite sense of reluctance. Why?

Sometimes I really wish she’d speak. It would be so much easier than this crazy puzzling, trying to work out what she thinks, and whether she’s trying to tell me something. Of course, she isn’t. She isn’t trying to communicate with me at all. She’s quite content to carry on just as she is. It’s me that wants to change.

So this time I have to think hard about what might be going on. I can see two distinct possibilities: either she’s bent on more bad behaviour, eating-wise, and doesn’t want to discuss it because she doesn’t want to stop; or she’s got some hidden agenda which she thinks is for my benefit. Maybe she even thinks she’s protecting me.

I don’t like any of these scenarios. Objectively speaking, losing weight is a good thing. It’s benefiting my health, I feel more comfortable in my clothes and I like the positive feedback I’m getting. Therefore I think she may be mistaken – please note the respectful tone. But how to get her to see that? We’re on dangerous ground here because I know – and this is where I began this journey – that I can’t lecture her into submission.

I want to say to her, ‘Do you realise that my odds of developing Type 2 diabetes are three to one if I remain obese?’ But as I know that, so does she. Obviously.

I poke around in the cave for a bit, hoping she’ll return. She doesn’t. Eventually I make my way disconsolately back down the hill back to reality. She isn’t coming out to play today. That means I have even less of a clue than usual about her attitude to my diet. Will she sabotage it, and leave me struggling out of control? I’ll just have to wait and see.

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